


I do

by Ellstra



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Denial, Fluff, M/M, Sickfic, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-05
Updated: 2016-03-05
Packaged: 2018-05-24 23:17:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6170566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellstra/pseuds/Ellstra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finding Kylo Ren in his bed before the end of the day was a surprise for Hux. Finding out that Ren was sick and even more whiny than usual wasn't a pleasant surprise at all. And yet...</p>
            </blockquote>





	I do

**Author's Note:**

> Sickfics for couples that highkey care about each other while appearing not to care are my jam so writing a kylux sickfic was bound to happen.

The day was going well for Hux for once. The operation he had planned turned out very successful, Snoke praised him for it, there was a real, good meal for lunch for change and most importantly, nothing was destroyed by an oversized baby running around with way too much power. A great day indeed.

On the other hand, Hux hadn’t seen afore mentioned baby since two nights ago when he kicked Kylo Ren out of his bed for doing what babies always do – snatching away all the blankets. Hux hated when someone did that. He was cold – especially when he forbade cuddling because he was afraid of the implications of it. It was enough they slept in the same bed after sex. He didn’t want Kylo to sleep in his bed – did it mean something? Was it normal? He couldn’t tell, but he was usually too worn out to deal with someone twice his weight and size (Kylo seemed to become bigger when he stripped. It was a mystery.) So he let Kylo stay. And then he kicked him out in the middle of the night when he woke up completely naked while Ren was wrapped in a cocoon of all his blankets. Hux felt extremely uncomfortable without the weight of a comforter on him but he wasn’t going to tell Ren that.

The General shook his head to clear his thoughts. He had got carried away again – he had been thinking too much about Ren lately. Mostly it were thoughts of how much he was annoyed with Kylo which didn’t mean the problem it posed was any lesser. He was thinking about Ren way more than he could afford. But that idiot was just asking for it! If the sex hadn’t been the best thing to ever happen to Hux, he wouldn’t let the human disaster anywhere near him. Except the way Kylo writhed and whined under his hands was intoxicating and Hux was horrified at the prospect of losing it. Everything was under control though, of course. He wasn’t attached to Kylo Ren himself. Just his body – his muscular thighs, his knees that were way too big and square-ish, his long fingers which took touch to a whole new level and his thick pink lips that made the most obscene sound appear to be music from heaven. Hux had got used to Kylo's face as a whole and after watching it change in pleasure he had caused, he came to like its mismatched features.

But it was just Kylo's body that did things to Hux, and he hadn't seen it for a while so of course he was concerned.

Not enough to have his day spoiled by worrying what Ren was up to, though. Hux opened his quarters and entered with a slight smile upon his face, looking forward to taking his coat, jacket and boots off.

"I thought you'd never come," a voice said and made Hux startle and glance to his bed. His smile froze when he saw Ren buried under his blankets.

"What are you doing here?" Hux asked coldly and took his coat off to kick the intruder out.

"I'm sick," Kylo announced and sat up to show a scarf wrapped around his neck. "You have to take care of me."

"I didn't know you were into this kind of roleplay but I'm not really surprised," Hux frowned and made his way by the bed to the bathroom to wash his hands, "it's too early either way. I have to work."

"No, I'm really sick," Kylo looked perplexed as if he hadn't anticipated this turn of events.

"You're making fun of me, right?" Hux appeared in the doorframe wiping his hands with a small towel.

"You know, normal couples take care of each other when they're sick," Kylo whined and stretched to play on Hux's feelings.

"We're a couple now?" Hux raised one eyebrow and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"There's two of us and we have awesome sex, I'd say that counts as a couple," Kylo muttered.

"That counts as two people who happen to be sexually compatible while not caring in the slightest about the other in any other aspect," Hux contradicted, "it certainly doesn't count as a permission for you to bring your bacteria to my bed."

"You're a germophobe," Kylo squealed.

"I'm not," Hux hissed, "if I were, you’d be dead already."

“I might die,” Kylo made a face of suffering, “and you’ll have no one willing to have sex with you again.”

“Are you kidding me?” Hux snarled. He reached his hand to Kylo’s forehead. “You’re burning. You should shut up before it gets worse, I’ve heard flu can kill you when you talk shit and act obnoxious.”

“Haha,” Kylo huffed and leant into the touch. Hux had rarely let Kylo touch him outside of acts connected directly with sex and he had to take advantage of every moment he could get. “You forgot to say I’m burning hot.”

“Ah, right now you’re not, believe me,” Hux said and he took his shoes off and climbed into the bed with Kylo against his better judgement. He took Kylo’s face into his both hands and smiled a little when he heard a tiny sigh of pleasure.

“Will you make me soup?” Kylo moaned and made a pleading face. His big eyes were glassy and a little bit empty, his face pale.

“Is this some sort of a test?” Hux raised an eyebrow, “You’re not five years old and I’m not your mother to make you soup. I don’t even know how to make one.”

“Will you get someone to make me soup?”

Hux sighed in frustration. Why was he doing this? Why was he expected to do this? He should have had Ren sign a contract that their affiliation was purely physical. This was getting out of his hands.

“Fine. What kind of soup do you want?” He gave in and brushed Kylo’s hair away from his face. It always bothered Hux; it got everywhere – in his mouth, in his shower drain, in his bed and it was almost as annoying as Kylo as a whole.

“Chicken. With those little croutons shaped like death stars,” Kylo murmured sleepily. He turned over, looked at Hux as if daring him to say something, and laid his head into Hux’s lap.

“I don’t think we have anything like that here,” Hux said, dumbfounded. The truth be told, the sort of soup Kylo described didn’t sound like anything that would be available anywhere. Croutons shaped like Death Stars? Hux would have known such a thing existed.

“Fine, you can take the TIE fighter one,” Kylo yawned. “And a blanket.”

“You’re already under all three of my blankets, even the reserve one you weren’t supposed to know about,” Hux pushed said blankets closer to Kylo’s head and tucked him properly. Perhaps if he made Kylo comfortable enough, he’d fall asleep. Not that Hux thought Kylo needed sleep to get better. Not that he wanted Kylo to get better, not that he cared. Or that he would have time to stare at Kylo without being called out on it when he was asleep.

“Mhm,” came a hum from beneath the heap of fabric. Kylo was covered almost to his ears but Hux could see him shudder. At this point it would not really help to cover Kylo more; he would feel cold and shiver either way.

“I’ll get you the soup,” Hux said and began to remove Kylo’s head from his lap. Kylo made displeased sound and caught Hux’s hand with his. His unfocused eyes pleaded Hux to stay.

“Can’t you call someone to bring it here?” he rasped and coughed. Hux felt heat rising up his neck and his ears.

“Not this kind of soup,” he tried to explain but his body betrayed his lie. Kylo frowned and pulled his hand away, hiding it under the covers.

“You’re ashamed to have me here,” came a whimper from beneath all the blankets as Kylo’s face disappeared under them. Hux froze, unable to guess what to do. He had never taken into consideration that Kylo might have any emotions other than rage, hatred and enormous crush on his grandfather. He certainly didn’t think of the possibility of Kylo having any warm feelings for him in particular. Well, that was one assumption proved wrong; you can’t really have sex with someone without it affecting you.

“I’m not ashamed of you,” he said unconvincingly and wanted to slap himself. It sounded exactly like something an ashamed person would say. Now he’d end up with a crying and upset Kylo in his bed, broadcasting his wounded emotions to the whole Galaxy of Force-sensitives. “I told you I can’t have any relationships among my co-workers.”

“I’m not your subordinate,” Kylo objected without raising his head from the blankets.

“If you were, I wouldn’t have sex with you,” Hux said flatly. “Look, I’ll come back to you, alright? You won’t even notice I’m not here.”

“You’re supposed to be nice to me when I’m sick,” Kylo whimpered.

“I’m not,” Hux frowned, “I didn’t sign any contract obliging me to be nice to you. Besides, I am being nice. You’re in my bed, with your head in my lap and now I’m going to fetch you some stupid soup.”

“I’m cold,” Kylo went on and finally raised his eyes to Hux’s. “Come under the blanket with me.”

“You’re sick,” Hux shook his head but he caressed Kylo’s forehead to show his affection. It was necessary of course. Kylo wouldn’t shut up. And Hux was responsible for Kylo getting better anyway. Logical.

“You said you weren’t afraid of germs,” Kylo pouted and leaned into Hux’s palm.

“I said I wasn’t a germophobe, which means I can take your head into my lap and touch you. But I’m not letting you breathe at me,” Hux played with Kylo’s hair, coiling it around his fingers. It was damp with sweat and not as luxurious as ever but Hux couldn’t get enough of touching it.

“The doctors say it’s not the most contagious now,” Kylo pleaded, “they say it was the worst two days ago.”

Hux picked up quickly on what Kylo did there. Two days ago, that would have been the day when Ren came from some mysterious quest he had been on for two weeks. It took all Hux’s power of will to restrain himself from stripping Kylo right in the shuttle dock. They had spent a few hours together and it felt just as intoxicating as the first time, but better because now they knew each other’s bodies and desires. And of course it all went perfectly well until Hux woke up in the middle of the night cold and uncovered. Two days ago meant that resistance was futile – either he had already caught it or if he hadn’t, he wouldn’t now, not after that night.

“You’ve been to see a doctor,” Hux said only, unable to talk about said night with a straight face.

“Yes,” Kylo nodded, “but that’s not what I was trying to say.”

“You’ve been to see a doctor and you still look like shit,” Hux ignored him. It would have appeared better if his fingers weren’t tenderly touching Kylo’s face.

“I didn’t want to take medication. They said it wasn’t necessary and it’s better when you let your body deal with the infection itself,” Kylo explained, “they also said that if I had, let’s say, an amazing, mind-blowing sex two days ago, my partner should probably fall sick too by now if it were contagious.”

“I’m not your partner,” Hux fought weakly.

“Fuck buddy, then,” Kylo grinned and nuzzled his nose against Hux’s crotch in a very suggestive manner.

“Stop it,” Hux exclaimed and went red, “you’re sick. You should rest.”

“Such worry about me,” Kylo sighed happily and caught one of Hux’s fingers between his teeth.

“You’re a manipulative little shit, you know that?” Hux muttered.

“That’s one of my best qualities.”

“Fine,” Hux gave up, “move over.”

Kylo smirked victoriously and let go of Hux’s finger. The General stood up, took of his uniform jacket and, after a short consideration, his trousers as well and he climbed into the bed again. Kylo had already moved a little to lay his head on Hux’s pillows and he was grinning smugly as if he had just won an argument. Which he probably had, Hux had to admit.

Kylo let Hux be the big spoon and pressed his back against Hux’s chest. Hux pulled him as close as possible, his grip on Kylo almost too strong. Kylo would have smirked if he hadn’t been so tired. His head felt like it was filled with cotton wool and his back, legs and chest hurt as if he had worked out for three days straight. Hux wasn’t really helping but just the feeling of victory brightened up Kylo’s miserable day. It may also be a long time before he gets Hux to hold him close like this, so he was going to savour it.

“Who’s going to bring you soup now?” Hux asked after a moment. Kylo smiled a little – he won again. Hux became uncomfortable sooner than he did.

“I’m not really hungry,” Kylo mumbled and laced his fingers with Hux’s.

“Why did you tell me to get it then?” Hux wanted to sound angry but he came out exhausted. _The next best thing_ , he supposed.

“I was bored,” Kylo replied and a violent shiver ran through him as if in confirmation. Hux didn’t ask him to clarify how that was a relevant answer.

They lay in silence, listening to each other’s heartbeats and acting like they weren’t enjoying themselves immensely. Kylo in front of Hux, Hux in front of himself. Kylo wasn’t certain why Hux was acting so detached but he was determined not to let him know just how hurt he was by it. Because that would mean he was a double loser – not only did he fall for Hux even though he had thought that could never happen, but he’d also admit being hopeless about it. So far, he was in control.

As he contemplated just how perfect Hux’s hands felt in his, he realised the pattern of his lover’s breathing had changed. It was deeper and shallower. Uncontrolled. Hux had fallen asleep.

Kylo was still feeling like he might never know happiness or what breathing through his nose was like, but he had at least got one joy from the world. Hux was always the one to fall asleep last, wake up first. Kylo had rarely seen him asleep and it never was a deep, relaxed sleep like this. He tried to turn around in Hux’s arms to look at the General’s face but it wasn’t easy. Hux’s thin arms were stronger than he expected, even after he added some additional strength to his former evaluation. He knew that even though Hux certainly couldn’t be described as stout, there was more power in his muscles than it seemed. Finally he managed to toss onto his other side and it wore him out. His muscles were on fire but the reward was worth it.

Everyone looks younger and less troubled when asleep and Hux was no exception. But Kylo didn’t really like the relaxed face in front of him. It was still pretty but it seemed empty, as if Hux’s personality was drained from it, or perhaps erased with a rubber. Kylo wondered whether there was something wrong with him when he thought Hux was the most attractive when he was yelling.

It seemed like Hux’s nap would take a while and Kylo felt particularly affectionate therefore he removed Hux’s arm from under his chest so that Hux wouldn’t walk around for days with an useless arm. In another times Kylo might have left Hux like that and laugh at him afterwards but today he wanted him to wake up in a good mood. It had to be the illness that made him this sappy.

Kylo closed his eyes as well and he lingered at the edge of sleep and lying awake as people often do when spending whole days in bed. He could feel his body temperature lowering and soon enough he was hot and sweating profusely. Carefully to avoid waking Hux up, he removed the uppermost blanket even though he knew it was futile. Being ill was a nightmare.

Hux woke up relaxed and comfortable. He was sure he hadn’t slept this well for some time, he certainly couldn’t remember waking up without an alarm clock or under another unpleasant circumstances. He glanced at his clock that indicated he had slept several hours. Then his gaze fell at Ren who was snuggled to his chest and sleeping soundly. The sight of him made Hux smile a little.

As far as Hux could tell, Kylo wasn’t radiating as much heat as before which was probably a good sign. His neck was glistening with sweat though, his hair wet and stuck to his head. Hux knew sweating was normal when the brain lowered the temperature but he wasn’t sure whether he should keep Kylo warm or rather cool him down. He decided not to change anything since Ren didn’t appear to be affected in any way.

He just ran a hand through Kylo’s hair because he couldn’t help it. He never had enough of touching it, pulling at it and making knots on it just to spite Ren. If Hux had any say in this, he’d have Kylo grow his hair at least until it reached the middle of his back, for some reason. He never said it aloud of course because how crazy would it seem? He had no right to say anything in this matter anyway – an occasional hot sex that left him crave the man stronger than before to the point where it had to be dark magic didn’t give him an opportunity to express such opinions.

“You could n’t let go of my hair even if you tried,” Kylo murmured and raised his eyes to Hux.

“I could if I tried,” Hux tried to act nonchalant and like he wasn’t startled that Kylo caught him expressing affection. But he was panicking inside. He never knew how safe his thoughts really were with Kylo – he supposed Ren didn’t read his mind 24/7, especially since most of the time when they were together, there wasn’t anything interesting going on there, but he couldn’t be sure.

“No you couldn’t,” Kylo laughed.

“Aren’t you suddenly looking better,” Hux pointed out and let go of Kylo’s hair to caress his considerably rosier cheek.

“You must have a good influence on me.”

“If I did, you’d stop having your equipment-damaging tantrums and act like a reasonable person,” Hux remarked.

“You never let me stay here,” Kylo complained and he looked away from Hux when he realised he broke his resolution not to talk about his hurt feelings. “Maybe it takes longer to kick in.”

“I do let you stay,” Hux objected, ignoring the second half of Kylo’s statement. The mood between them changed. Hux realised he was walking in eggshells there. Kylo might have been sick and more prone to having his mask of indifference broken down, but the words he was saying had been there for some time. He had to be careful if he wanted to keep Kylo.

And he did want to keep Kylo.

“I let you stay but then I wake up naked and cold and mad at you for snatching the blanket away,” he blabbered. Kylo still didn’t look at him but at least he didn’t pull away.

“You could give me my own blanket,” Ren mumbled.

“I suppose I could,” Hux admitted.

The silence that stretched between them was the most uncomfortable and rigid they had ever been around each other. There had always been an undeniable attraction, even when they spat death threats at each other. Now, it was just emptiness surrounding a tightly stretched string threatening to break. Hux felt Kylo’s attention slipping through his fingers. He didn’t know if he was picturing it or if Kylo was projecting his emotions into the air for Hux to pick up on and do something about it before he fucks it up irreparably. It didn’t matter in the end.

“The truth is I’m scared of you,” he whispered. That at least caught Kylo’s attention. His eyes met Hux’s, big and confused, begging Hux to fix what they had, whatever it was.

“I’ve never been wanted by anyone,” Hux explained, “I’m not saying it for you to pity me but because I need you to understand how difficult this is for me to comprehend and to believe.”

“You don’t _believe_ me?” Kylo gasped. Hux stopped him before he could say anything else that would separate them forever.

“I do believe you want me now. But will you later? I can’t know that. If I don’t let you in too deep, if I make myself believe it’s just physical, I can convince myself I don’t have to worry about you leaving and breaking my heart.”

Hux had realised that if he had rehearsed this speech before, it wouldn’t have been half as strong as it was now. It was always like that with him. His best speeches were spontaneous, unprepared. He had always thought he was inspired by the moment but the truth was that his emotions always supplied him with the right words, which was something his mind never could. Kylo’s eyes widened even more as if they weren’t impossibly huge already.

“I knew you were a mess but I didn’t realise it was this bad,” Kylo whispered.

“See? You don’t really know me,” Hux said in a thin voice.

“Oh I know you well enough,” Ren said and placed a cold, sweaty hand against Hux’s face, “you do everything you can to convince yourself you don’t care because you care so much. I always knew you had a storm inside you but I could never figure out why you never let me see it.”

“A storm?” Hux raised an eyebrow when Kylo’s thumb brushed against it.

“I don’t have to read your mind to sense your emotions,” Kylo explained, “you’re like a walking pressure cooker threatening to go off.”

“At least you let out your steam,” Hux huffed.

“Don’t run away,” Kylo said and leaned forward so that their lips were almost touching, “I won’t let you.”

“This is… pathetic,” Hux tried to protest for the last time but his defences were already crumbling. “You should be focused on the Force. I have to be focused on leading the First Order. Or we’ll be ineffective and replaced. Well at least I will, anyway.”

“And you think feelings stop us from being focused?” Kylo’s fingers trailed down Hux’s neck and hovered above his collarbone. “That’s what bitter hermits and old lonely men want you to believe. How about this? Does it make you lethargic?”

Kylo tapped two of his fingers against Hux’s skin, lightly enough to be barely noticeable. “Or alert?”

“It makes me want to tie you to this bed and take you mercilessly for teasing me,” Hux replied truthfully. He could feel Kylo’s laughter before he could hear it.

“Another day perhaps, I’m awfully tired and sore all over,” Kylo said with regret in his voice as if he wanted Hux to do the exact same thing. “I wouldn’t give a decent performance now.”

“I won’t stop thinking about it now, how’s that for efficiency?”

“Well it’s going well for me, doesn’t it?” Kylo grinned. “Don’t worry about not being good enough. Worry is half of the cause of failure, trust me. You didn’t just miraculously start feeling for me this instant. I’ve been on your mind ever since I took your virginity.”

Hux turned red. It was true, though. Why was Kylo always right? Well, at least always when it came to feelings, anyway. Wasn’t it wrong that he understood Hux’s feelings better than Hux himself?

“I wasn’t a complete virgin,” Hux didn’t know why he said it, but Kylo seemed to know even that because he smirked like his birthday came sooner.

“Of course not, you have had your kindergarten kiss.”

“It was horrible. I never wanted to do anything like it again.”

“Oh, I made you break another little rule of yours, you should punish me,” Kylo bit his full lower lip and looked repentant, knowing fully well what it did to Hux.

“I won’t be taking advantage of an ill person but be assured I have it on my list of your insolences.”

“What can I say, I’m a bad boy,” Kylo smiled widely, with his teeth showing. Hux finally decided to throw all care behind him because there was no way of keeping his cool when Kylo gave him such a smile. He kissed those plump lips; carefully at first but after Kylo’s invitation, he got bolder until his fingers got lost in Ren’s dark hair again. Kylo was still trembling and shivering and Hux decided that should he fall ill after all, he’d be allowed to boss Kylo around. It didn’t sound so bad.

“Do you want stay here tonight?” he whispered when the kiss broke. Kylo’s eyes lit up and he smiled again.

“I do.”

"If you steal my blanket again, I swear I'll wake you up with a bucket of freezing water." Hux muttered when Kylo moved his lips to nibble at his ear. Ren just chuckled. 


End file.
